This post is veering from my original intention for it, but I’m going to toss in some stuff that didn’t make it into my first post, so maybe my original idea for this one will get posted at some point (it was a really funny allegory, at least I thought so. Then again, I came up with it during a bout of my traditional post-migraine euphoria where everything seems amazing and awesome and wonderful, so I don’t totally trust my judgement.)
So, more stream-of-consciousness from the wild river of my mind. Ever since the new year began, I’ve been trying to get my life better organized. Since I work retail, during the Christmas season laundry/cleaning/dishes/etc. built up, and now I’m doing the fun task of trying to catch up on all of it. Yay! I’m also doing battle with an evil mouse that has invaded my apartment. It’s some kind of evil genius and has figured out how to eat the peanut butter off the first two kinds of traps I set without getting killed. I will be deploying the fearsome glue trap tomorrow.
Anyway, I’ve been working on all of this while continuing to work as many hours as I was during the Christmas season, and doing lots of little chores day after day. Obviously, there’s not a whole lot of improvement from any one thing. So my life recently has been kind of like, “Yay! I made it through another eight hour shift! I went grocery shopping! I’m sticking to my budget! I brought my lunch! I did the dishes! I’m building so much character and perseverance! Yay!” and “No, you don’t need to buy that Rolling Stone magazine, it’s not worth spending $4.99 just so you can read the interview with Stevie Nicks, at which point you’ll probably either toss it, or more likely, leave it sitting around until you lose it, and then find it two years later all crumpled-up and gross-looking. Also, you don’t need to buy that chocolate mousse either. It’s $3.50 and you already had a cookie today. Go home and eat some fruit.”
(I want my “Adulthood Trophy” as the brilliant Allie Brosch put it in Hyperbole and a Half.)
After several weeks, it’s been finally getting to me. The blog post I wrote last week helped- I got in touch with a bunch of people I hadn’t talked to in a while, which reminded me I wasn’t just some kind of productivity machine. Then yesterday, one of my supervisors at work mentioned that they were thinking of training me to advance to the next level, and he asked if I would be interested in that. I said yes, so hopefully that works out. Anyway, that helped some, but I’m still feeling like each day is the same.
I’ve learned that this means that I need to add more joy to my life, because otherwise I start unconsciously imitating the writer of Ecclesiastes and being like “Life is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” At which point I become a hermit and hole up in my hermit cave. So that’s partly why I’m trying to do all this organizing, so I’m prepared to move out fairly soon and find some place with more windows, no mice, and that allows cats. I’m MUCH happier when I have a feline overlord to serve.
I’ve not been having much luck though. A friend of mine and I were planning to go to a Fleetwood Mac concert, but the cheapest seats they had were $60 a piece, so it wasn’t really affordable for either of us (Side Note to Fleetwood Mac: Why are your tickets so expensive?!?! Aren’t you already really rich?) Hopefully I can think of something else soon that’ll actually end up working. Right now I’m gradually working through all the Diane Keaton movies that the public library has, but I feel like I need something with more sense of adventure. I’m feeling like the narrator of “Thunder Road” (which is an amazing and brilliant song that you should totally listen to). Anyway, this post is kind of all over the place, (and much less profound than I had hoped it would be) but I needed to get this off my chest. As always, feedback/communication of any kind is appreciated!